In November of last year I had the pleasure of being interviewed for The Self Care Club podcast. The podcast is meant to help inspire people to take their self care practice to the next level, and to explore guest’s self care practices to provide that inspiration. I was delighted to have been invited, as I have been a fan of the host, Natalie Ross, for about two years, as she is also the host of a podcast that I love called Dream, Freedom, Beauty. At first I was nervous and I didn’t know if I would really be able to share anything of importance, but I used her guided questions as journaling prompts before the interview and allowed myself to dive in a little deeper to why I consider self care to be so paramount to my well being. I preach self care and offer tips about carving out time and rituals for self care to my hair clients, so this seemed like a way to take my message to a platform that could be heard by more people.
As soon as I finished the Skype interview with Natalie, I thought to myself, Damn, I kept myself small. Even though I had spent a good hour preparing for the interview, reading over my notes, and even did a meditation to center myself and ask my Divine guides to allow me to speak my truth clearly, I thought that I did not dive in as deep as I would have liked to. I was still feeling so self conscious and asking myself that question…”Well, who the hell are you to talk about this stuff with any authority?” So, in the months that I had to wait for my interview to air, I had to double down on my self care, in order to keep myself from freaking the fuck out with nervousness about what I would sound like. I told very few people that I had an interview coming out. I chose not to listen to the interviews that aired before mine so that I would not fall into the trappings of self comparison. Some of my mechanisms for getting through this time were to consciously work with my doubts and fears, looked them in the face, channel them through my body and journal about them. I chose to actively keep seeking healing. I chose to do more exercises to get clear on my purpose for sharing my story at all. I chose to meditate more. I chose to read more books about healing modalities that I am interested in. I told myself that regardless of how crazy I might sound on a podcast interview, I have found so much satisfaction in my healing process. I have found so much peace and comfort along my journey of self compassion, self study, self care, and that is ultimately what matters the most. I reminded myself that my story is mine to tell, and that I have authority over my experience because it is my own experience. I reminded myself that I am not selling anything, I am only sharing my story as I heal because through healing myself I know that others can find inspiration for healing. I reminded myself that when I was first diagnosed with cancer, my motto quickly became “Live to Inspire and be inspired. Live to thrive.” That motto came to me as a download, and I wrote it on my chalkboard wall and did not erase it until treatment was done.
When the episode came out, I woke up early and snuggled back into bed with my animals and listened. The tension slowly loosened it’s grip on my body as I continued to hear my own voice. I was half expecting to be so embarrassed by how I had presented myself but I wasn’t. A dear friend of mine was listening to it at the same time as I was, and we were texting each other, crying. My wife texted me when she got to work and said “I’m at work, but I’m sitting in the car listening to your interview.” In the days following I listened several more times, and the emotions of the experiences that I talk about in the interview well up inside of me each time. Hearing myself speak about these issues allow for me to practice that self love, that gratitude, and appreciation for my perseverance. Hearing myself speak about these issues and the practices have been another exercise in clarity. Hearing my own voice, and listening to the feedback that I have gotten from people who listened in reflects back to me why I am sharing my story. It has solidified my purpose. This experience has been healing for me above all else.
In the blog and in the book that I am working on, I plan to dive deeper into my self care practices to help illustrate how simply studying myself within my own experience has enriched my life, relationships, and self worthiness.
You can check out my interview with Natalie here! Shondi’s SCC Interview